Moment of honesty

I can love my friends. I can love my family. I can love the people that I do sports with. I can love the people that I work with and for. I can love the people that I’m impacting with my work. I can love my neighbours. I can love my community. I can love how what I write makes people feel. I can love how reading a book teaches me things that I can then explain to people that I love.

Man, there is no reason why everything that I do is not in some way related to people that I feel some kind of love for. Like really not. Everything that I should do, from the moment I wake up, until I go to sleep should relate to love.

I’m not maximizing the intensity of sending love or receiving love.

Example: I’m writing a friend and she is online on WhatsApp at the same time then I am and we are texting back and forth for a while and using emoji’s and HAHAHA and hahaha and jajajaj but my lazy ass, ego, fear or whatever it might be is hindering me to just press the call button and have a real conversation. There is so much of this true connection that is lost by texting instead of calling, that it just makes no sense that I would be choosing texting. It is worse for both of us. All it is, is me giving into the comfort of staying in my little bubble, taking it easy cause it is convenient and not risking too much. I understand it but I do it all the time and it’s so freaking stupid if I think about it. I bet that if everyone would stop texting and just call, everyone would be better of, without exception. And now I’m speaking about calling but what about video calling? And if the person I want to give love to or receive love from is in reachable geographical distance, then lets meet up no?

Man, sharing love with people is the only thing that matters in the end.

I might call it friendship, or hanging out, or sex, or family, or being passionate about my work or my sport or the art I want to create or the music I want to write or whatever. The driver underneath is love. So if I am not optimizing for it, what the hell am I even doing? Like what are all these things I do that don’t optimize for love? I am wasting my time and not doing what’s best for me, what’s best for anyone else or what’s best for society as a whole. I am making everyone, me included, more unhappy and less fulfilled.

I’m catching myself, over and over wasting my time. I’m so easily tempted into doing stuff that is not related to love in any way or to simply forget about it.

Maybe now you are like: “Oh for me that’s obvious though.”

Well then why are you even texting me? You don’t love me? Just kidding. But there is some truth to it, not to the fact that you don’t love me, cause you do, but why don’t you call instead of texting? Why don’t you go ask the person that you love to go hang out with you? Why haven’t you spoken to your grand-parents that you love? Why are you watching YouTube instead of video calling? Why aren’t you asking the girl you have a crush on to meet up? Why don’t you work a job where what you do impacts people that you love in some shape or form? Why, are you coming up with all these excuses for yourself to not do these things?

“Oh but Johannes it’s because of ………………………………”

No man, it’s not, ask your wise old grandma. She will tell you directly or through one of her grandma stories that what matters is the love, the people, the connections and the stories.

So fuck off if you don’t get it, but pick up the phone when I call you. I love you.